I want to be happy, like completely honestly happy. No yelling no pain, and no sadness. I would love and be loved, and my family and friends would still be best friends, and we everything would be and i repeat, "happy" I don't care if this is an unrealistic dream, but also one simple one as well, if you can master the act of forgiveness, for yourself, and for those surrendering your weapons.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Sometimes, I like to think I'm there for them if they ever truly need me, but again sometimes I think that I might be a horrible friend because sometimes I just want to be alone. So I guess I like to believe I am a good friend when it counts. But you would have to ask them if I truly am.
Friday, June 11, 2010
I wish my dad would miraculously get better, and for my mom to no longer have her illness that dictates our very lives. I wish I hadn't been so mean to my sister and we had a closer relationship, but I made my decisions and I have to live with them, but I don't want my decision about this guy to be one I regret, I want the happy ending, the one you only see in books, and movies, or in my case in my friends lives. I have never felt this way, but I can't seem to help myself. I tried to ignore it, and think it was only because I couldn't have him, but maybe I can and what I feel is true? What then? How do I keep myself going knowing this and knowing if one little circumstance was different I could be with someone I truly liked?
I don't think I have ever been in a relationship with someone I really liked and it scares me, and I wonder if that's normal? I feel like a typical girl writing this, but sometimes I just want to be a girl and think about boyfriends, and girlfriends, and relationships, and trusting my feelings not to ruin things.
I'm going to do something I never really tried before, I'm going to have hope.